There have been times in my life where woe is me has been something I've said more than once. As I've gotten older, it has become even more so. I put on a good front and seem to most people that I have it all together and that nothing really bothers me, but I'm really good at internalizing things and keeping quiet. I've always been the quiet one. Inside though, it's pretty much an out of control mess.
In recent months, our family has been going through a pretty severe and stressful financial situation. Right now, there is little light at the end of our tunnel. It's a constant weighing pressure. The internalizing has led to a bit of depression and probably certainly to my lowered immune system causing me to be sick and miss work more than I have probably in my entire life. I am currently recovering from a bought of pneumonia. Stress will make you sick. It has effected our entire family. Some of us cope with it better than others. My husband is a man of very strong faith. Faith is not something I'm very good at, I tend to let reality rule me pushing faith to the back of my mind.
But being out of work this last week has allowed me to really have a look at my friends and followers on Facebook. Somehow, when one is in the woe is me, they think that their situation is worse than anything. They concentrate on the woe and not on the wonderful. Until they take a good hard look around at other people's lives.
Right now, a friend has lost a job that they loved and were very good at and a job that helped provide for a family that includes many special needs children. Another friend is battling stage 4 cancer. Another friend has a brain tumor. Another friend is estranged from their children, living alone, and sick. Another friend, has a child who suffered a traumatic brain injury and everyday is a struggle of a magnitude I could never imagine. Another friend, is battling drug addiction. Another friend, is mired in a black depression. Another friend, just lost their grandfather. Another friend, lost a child. Another friend lost their marriage. Another friend's husband died. There are friends who are treated badly everyday because of their color, their sexual orientation, their beliefs. Other friends have just disappeared it seems because they are homeless. The list goes on and on and on and some of the things are absolutely heartbreaking.
And here is me. Yes, my situation is not fun and yes, it is stressful, but it is not woe is me. I have been married for almost 25 years to a man who loves me even with all my failings. I have 3 grown sons who I think still love me and who without I wouldn't be making it through this situation right now. These sons are all healthy, hardly been sick much their whole lives and are all good men. Right now, I have a home filled with 25 years of stuff. Right now, the utilities are on. Right now, I made myself a cup of coffee. My 25 year collection of Christmas decorations are up. I am getting over pneumonia and outside of that I'm fairly healthy. I have closets full of clothes. I have a good job. In 5 days I will finish my Bachelor's Degree that I finished in 9 semesters. I have been accepted into the Master's Degree program. I have a paid for vehicle to drive that runs. I have a few really good friends. I did not wake up dead this morning nor did any of my loved ones.
Woe is me is an easy place to fall into. It's a very difficult place to get out of. Some time spent looking around though can offer a new look at life. I am thankful I got sick enough to have the time to look around and realize, it's a wonderful life.
A little bit of everything from Deborah Horton.
