Sunday, July 27, 2014

Stuck


Over the last few weeks I have talked to many people who are stuck.  They live their lives every day in the same way, never moving forward, and never happy.  Seemingly unable to remove themselves from whatever they are stuck in and constantly making everyone around them just as miserable as they have become.

I think there are several reasons why people who are stuck seem unable to remove themselves from the situations they are in.  Fear is probably the number one reason.  Depending on what they are stuck in the fear can manifest itself in many ways.  The fears are almost always either irrational or unjustifiable meaning they are fears created in their own minds but are truly nothing to be afraid of or they are fears that are just excuses and with sometimes even small effort can be overcome.  Some fears are real such as the fear of an abusive partner hurting them or their children if they try to leave, but even a fear as real and as great as this one can be overcome.  First though, a person must be willing to do whatever it takes to move forward.

Doubt is another reason people stay stuck.  They doubt themselves and their ability to be in a place outside of being stuck.  Similar to fear but doubt is a much more insidious creature.  It hovers always in the mind never allowing someone to truly see who they are and what they are capable of.

Comfort is one of the hardest things to overcome when stuck.  People who are stuck in jobs, relationships, etc. can become comfortable with the status quo.  They have an income, or a partner, or a place to live, food to eat, and if they try to move forward that comfort might be upset.  People do not like to be uncomfortable.  Or let me rephrase, people in 1st world countries do not like to be uncomfortable - they like their things far too much.

Misery loves company is another reason people remain stuck.  Some people who are miserable seek out others to make misery with or they just make others miserable.  It becomes who they are.  If they have to suffer so do you and so does everyone else.  They become unbearable work colleagues, or partners, or friends, or people in general.  Which of course makes them more miserable and they make more misery for others, a vicious circle that just keeps going around and around.

It is so much easier to complain than to do.  Doing requires effort.  Doing requires work.  Doing requires discomfort.  Doing requires discipline.  Doing requires movement.  Doing requires progress.  Doing is difficult and for some people they just cannot make themselves do what is required in order to stop living a stuck life.

Living stuck is a choice just like any other choice.  It does not matter where one is stuck or what the reason, the choice can be made to stop being stuck just as it was made to be stuck.  Depending on where one is stuck, the work to get out of the situation can be a fairly simple one or it can be a very difficult one.  Either way, the choice is there to be made every single moment of every single day.  Choose wisely.

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