Listen To Me

In a world of less and less actual face to face talking, I find that more and more all anyone wants is someone to listen to them.  Really listen.

It is becoming more and more obvious that people hold a lot in because really there's only so much you can say in a text message.  And a text message isn't going to convey all the emotion behind what you're saying I don't care how many emoticons you use.  However, as more and more of us use text to communicate so much more is lost in translation and even more goes unsaid and unheard.

I have learned while working in a high school that kids seem to be most affected by this as they use text much more than adults on average.  They use it for everything to communicate with everyone.  Their friends, their parents, their grandparents if they have them, everyone.  There is no actual speaking to someone face to face.  And many of them are crying out for someone to listen to them in other ways through actions and reactions.

A wonderful experiment would be to put down all electronic devices for a day and actually talk to people face to face, one on one and actually take the time to listen to the words.  Make an actual phone call to someone who lives far away.  Write a letter to an old friend or family member.  Speak to people.  I think it would change lives.

At school when a student comes to talk to me even to say hello, I always try to get them to say more by asking questions, opening up the dialogue.  I encourage them to speak to me....and I always try and take the time to listen.  If more of us did the same with our own friends, co-workers, and yes our very own families, we might find our relationships growing stronger, meaning more, helping someone in need.  Try it....speak and listen today.

Who You Are

Some people like to think that it's only teenagers that judge others based on looks, money, intelligence, clothes, cars, pick a category.  Some people think that only teenagers form cliques of like minded sheep.  Unfortunately, most adults do it as well.

Judging others is like a sport for some people.  They take what they think is how someone is supposed to be, live, do and transfer it to everyone else.  If other people don't fit their mold, then those people are belittled, shunned, talked about behind their backs, and treated absolutely horribly in a lot of cases.  These are grown people I'm talking about well over the age of a teenager some even into their 50s and beyond.

These people think that by pointing out the flaws in everyone else their own flaws become less noticeable.  There are even those who believe they have no flaws.  Most though I believe do it out of a huge sense of their own insecurities and thoughts about their own lives.

They attack those who are trying to better themselves saying that the person is too old to be trying to get a college degree.  Yes I've had it said about me.  They attack gay people.  They attack poor people.  They attack overweight people.  They attack just about everyone some of these people and they never think it's unkind or uncalled for.  Some even think they are helping people become better by pointing out their "flaws."

Judging someone else does not define who they are it defines who YOU are.  When we judge someone else for whatever reason it defines what lies truly within us.  Do we love others?  Do we treat others the way we want to be treated?  Or do we attack, condemn, gossip?  What we say and do about and towards others does not define who they are.  No, it defines who we are, who you are.

You cannot control what someone else says or does.  You cannot control the workplace gossip.  You cannot control the bigot, the hater, the envious, the mean.  There is only one person you can control and that is yourself. One person's mind, one person's tongue.  You have the power to define who you are.